Becoming a Role Model: Self Awareness
Bald Male Role Model…Do you have a bald male role model? Do you even have a role model?
I’ve started a series of posts to discuss the following questions: What are the characteristics of the people we look up to? How can we become role models?
To begin, let’s explore Self-Awareness. It’s challenging to look inward, to be honest about our faults, and change our behavior. Still, as we address our faults and start to understand ourselves, we can change the direction of our lives. How did I start the process?
Understand your strengths: Without acknowledging our strengths, can we expect someone else to? I’m not perfect but I have my strengths: friendly, quick learner, problem solver, determined, creative, empathetic. Listing out your strengths gives confidence and helps steel us for the next part. So, before reading further, think about your strengths. What do you take pride in?
Acknowledge our faults: Without knowing our limitations we can setting ourselves up for disappointment. I’ve got some faults to: stubborn, prideful, competitive. When I ignore these traits, I usually end up disappointed. I try not to be too competitive but if I just let someone else win, it upsets me later. Example – I’m at a party and someone says something completely idiotic. I can argue the point, but sometimes I just let it go to avoid a confrontation. Then I get annoyed with myself – especially when the moron has a smug look on their face like they just taught you something important.
Know what is important and act: An example: I tell myself that I don’t need people to like me but that’s not true. It’s important that people like and respect me. I don’t care too much what people think, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care at all. It sucks that I need validation from others, but I do.
Knowing, and accepting, that I need some validation has led me to adjust my behavior. If I want people to like me, I can’t always be a snarky ass. I can’t whine when things don’t go my way. Maybe I’ll even smile once in a while. Of course, the trick is finding the people who you want to like you. Also – I’m not saying you should be someone you are not, just re-evaluate.
Accept: It annoys me that I need even a small amount of validation from other people, but I do. I need to accept that I’m not perfect and it’s ok. I want people to like me. There, I said it and I’m still here.
There is much more involved in becoming self-aware, but the above points helped me to start becoming self-aware. My process has been long, slow and painful. It has consisted of working with a counselor (very helpful), drunken rants with friends (fun), taking a Myers Brigg test (interesting), numerous books and podcasts (mixed results), and endless talks with my very patient partner (most useful of all).
Resources:
California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
This is specific to California, but there may be something similar in your part of the world. Some therapists also offer career and life coaching. Therapy is silly? Well, I’d rather complain converse with a therapist than talk to my friends about all my faults. And mom, if you’re reading this, I’ve been seeing a therapist. For a while. It’s not your fault. I promise.
Myers & Briggs Foundation – Interesting when I first got the results. I think I’m supposed to do something with my new found knowledge, but I forget. Still, it got me started thinking about who I am and what my interests are. The test is not free, but the foundation site has a lot of information.
Zencast 
Thanks for reading – As Cheap Trick sang, I Want You To Want Me
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